Overwhelmed

So today has been a long, stressful, overwhelming day and it's only 1:45pm. My day started at 9am when we had to meet at the Day Surgery in the Hospital. This last wednesday I met with Dr. Williams-As of right now will be doing Emma's surgery for her lip. He told me that when he does the surgery he will take her lip and slice it open horizontally, get the muscle that is formed under the lip and stitch that together and then pull the outer lip and stitch that together. All of this will take about an hour to an hour and a half. He recommended us going to see an Anesthesiologist at Day Surgery to pretty much see if they would be comfortable enough to do the surgery or if they recommend us going to Albuquerque. We got there at 9am, like we were scheduled for and they told us we needed to walk to the other side of the hospital and get registered. It would have been kind of nice to have gotten there a little bit early so we could meet by 9am. Finally at about 9:30am we were able to meet. The reason we have to meet with the Anesthesiologist is because when Emma finally gets to the recommended weight of at least 10lbs we will have surgery on her lip to get it fixed. They want her to be at 10lbs because the surgery and anesthesia will be stressful on her body and that is the recommended weight so it is not so bad. This doctor (sorry I forgot his name) seemed very confident, he just told me he always likes to have a back up plan just in case. It is better to have and not need it and need it and not have it. He continued on saying that they will put a mask on her to put her to sleep and then put a tube down her throat to help her breathe. Although, they will be having her breathe on her own so they won't need assistance. When someone gets an anesthesia there is that chance there might be complications. Complications meaning if Emma does not come out of it after 5 minutes or so they will have to watch her heart monitor making sure it is not beating very slow or pumping less than 2-3 cc of blood. In this case, this is where Plan B takes effect. Because San Juan Regional Medical Center is a level 1 Hospital they dont have the right stuff to care for Babies if something goes wrong. When it comes down to the surgery and this does happen they will be airlifting her to Albuquerque at the Children's Hospital to get her sidated. Thankfully, I will be able to fly with her. When the doctor was telling me all of this stuff, I was getting teary eyed. I was trying to picture my daughter laying on the bed out of it and with tubes everywhere and stitches on her lip. It still breaks my heart; but I have to be strong. The doctor did say that if I do decide to go with the Albuquerque team, I will need to Call Dr. Williams office right away so they can schedule everything...So, I can't wait until the last minute.
Now, I am in that dilemma of what to do...I am really in the need of a Blessing, Emma to get a blessing and to pray about it. From here on out until Emma gets to that recommended weight I have to figure out which hospital to go to. Do I stay here at SJRMC and have that 50/50 chance of:
Everything turning out great with the anesthesia and staying the night in the hospital and then go home and recover OR something go wrong with the anesthesia and get airlifted to Albuquerque and get those Doctors to making everything better?
OR
Making more than one trip to Albuquerque to meet with the doctors, go home and then go back again to have the surgery and know that if something does go wrong we are already there...

WHAT DO I DO?

I am also a little overwhelmed and bummed at the same time about Jason. I told him what happened today and he is alittle annoyed that more than likely they are not going to do the surgery on a weekend. He is pretty much sure the surgery will be some time during the week. Because he just started a new job he doesn't think that he will be able to take off. I know he will be able to take off; I really doubt they would stop him from being at his daugther's surgery. Anywho, he is also concerned about taking off and not being paid for it. Yeah, that is going to be tough, but honestly, I know that the expenses will be taking care of some way or another. (I hope) I just wish that he was more supportive and that I didn't feel like I have to do this alone. Thankfully I have my mom to come to these appointments with, but still...

I have been working Children's Medical Services to help out with the cost. Thankfully he did say to apply with Medicaid... I am just waiting to hear back from them to know whether or not we qualify... We might be cutting it close. I know that we qualify for CMS and so if it comes down to just that, after the surgery is done, they will of course Bill my insurance and then CMS will cover the rest. This is all to overwhelming and it is only just a one time thing-thankfully.. it is just getting to that part.

When we were at the hospital, we had them weigh Emma so we can get an idea as to know how much longer until surgery. We layed her in the scale an the nurse was moving the know to the 4 and it would get even... I was a little dumbfounded thinking, she couldnt' have lost 4lbs. It turns out to be in someother metric system. I can't rememeber.. I has been a long day. So, the nurse said you multiply 2.2 and 4 to get her weight, So I was thinking great 8.8lbs! She comes back the results and says she only weighs 8lbs and a quarter... We knew that she didn't just gain over 2oz so we decided before our next appt to go to Dr. Dekay's and get a weight check...

8lbs 9oz

I am so proud of Emma! She is getting better about the weight gain! The nurse at the hospital had no idea what she was doing!

On a good note.. .Emma has an umbilicol hernia (sp?) and luckily when she cries we can push her belly button in. The doctors we have seen have thought about getting surgery done and fixed... Dr. Williams said by the time she is 5 years old, it should be gone. We meet with Dr. Yeats at 12pm and to be honest, it was kind of annoying to pay a co-pay and have the Doctor come in and tell me this hernia(sp?) is nothing to worry about.. She can push it back in to the hole and there is not need for surgery. A co-pay for 2 minutes of her time! Must be nice. I have to think about it logically and realize that I guess it is better to know the results of her hernia (sp?) and know that there is nothing to worry about.

Emma is going to be my expensive child... Goodness!!

We should know the day of surgery in about a month or two...We will see!